Post by Ellis on Jul 22, 2009 12:37:50 GMT -5
Request: Yves to review "Transformers 2". If he could use the word "faff" again I would appreciate it.
Sorry, but:
1) I've already done "Superman Returns" (another really bad film, although hardly approaching the level of awfulness of "Transformers") as a one-act trialogue between Kevin Spacey, his career, and Gene Hackman. That's my compulsion to write rants on the internet about horrible movies sated for the next few months, thanks.
2) Given how much I hated "Transformers", does DC really think I'm going to sit through two and a half hours of the sequel? Worse, actually pay money for this crap?
I did recently watch "The Island", though, as an experiment to see just how much Michael Bay would manage to fuck up a great sci-fi concept (clones of rich assholes harvested for medical purposes in huge underground facility break free and start a revolution). Unsurprisingly it was every bit as bad as I expected (which is to say, unwatchable and cringeworthy) with horrible dialogue, sleep-inducing action sequences, no characters, terrible attempts at "jokes", and pretty much every male character apart from the lead is a pervert. I did get a kick out of watching out for dumb Microsoft plugs - it's as though MS had decided that they needed payback for all those years of film where every single character uses an Apple Mac - my favorite being the "universal directory" that turns out to be MSN search, and that always brings up exactly the answer you need on the first search you make**; and the thirty-second scene where Ewan MacGregor and Scarlett Johanssen play X-Box with holograms, for no plot or character-related reason that I could see.
**If this was really MSN search, the first result it brought up would be giraffe porn. I'm just saying.
