Episode 4: The Sun Eclipsed by Black Clouds

[Jason]

SHIT SHIT FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT!

[Judge Sam]

i'm confused... are you worried someone else has a role that will test your 'double' thing? i don't see where the problem is haha.

I could see a problem down the line in 4 episodes but for now?

[Judge Sam]

oh so it's like jenya wants to do something like:


secretly select sally


tell you she picked sally or susie


and then have you redirect both


if you pick right, its ok, but if you pick wrong then you really didn't have 2 redirects?

[Jason]

Exactly, only to make it worse.. She can choose two people, too, so she's going to pick Sally AND Susie and either way I have to redirect them both or I'm caught :/ I'll find a way through it though, I have to in order to make my Master Mofo proud!

[Judge Sam]

don't forget if you want to use your role ability this episode to do so asap befoer imprisonment starts

[Jason]

Lol good idea

[Judge Sam]

i'm sure you'll find a way out of it. i can think of a few ways myself =)

i don't think it'll end up being too bad. plus you've got like 5 days or more before anything takes place.

[Jason]

Indeed, I hope I can... I hope I can figure out the ways you've thought of (I bet you'd be the greatest Spy ever, too, BTW, Sam... You've had 6 games to see what works and what doesn't work

The time does help... I'll be scheming like crazy all weekend... I canceled my band's practice tomorrow just to have time to think about this... Incoming big confessional!

[Jason]

Here's my post in the Spy HQ:

Jun 4, 2009 12:25:07 GMT -5 Jason said:

I screwed up. I took a baseball bat, pulled down my pants, and sat on it and spun around.

spies6Jenya (12:56:35 PM): What was your power-up?
spies6jason (12:56:38 PM): We might need to throw some misdirection out there or something, I'm worried they might try to break us up
spies6jason (12:56:47 PM): I can deflect TWO people for the next 4 rounds
spies6Jenya (12:56:59 PM): Wow.
spies6jason (12:57:14 PM): How about yours?? Please tell me its uber and will win us the game lol
spies6Jenya (12:57:33 PM): I can protect two at the next three Imprisonments.
spies6jason (12:57:50 PM): lol wow, it seems like the powerups might all be double then



All good, she bought it and everything. Daises are growing in the lush green fields surrounded by placid forests and wilderness.


spies6Jenya (1:04:44 PM): The best news today:
spies6Jenya (1:05:02 PM): I can confirm you as a Citizen 100% before the next Exile.
spies6jason (1:05:14 PM): Lol sweet, how so?
spies6Jenya (1:05:14 PM): Right now I'm only 98% on you.
spies6Jenya (1:05:28 PM): Because if you can deflect double, you had to be a cit to win that power-up.
spies6jason (1:05:43 PM): Very true, that's going to be nice
spies6Jenya (1:06:06 PM): So I'll just tell Ellis that if I die, I'm pretty sure you're a spy, and if not, we'll confirm you Friday

BUBOIC PLAGUE STRIKES THE WORLD AND EVERYONE ROTS AND DIES!

FUCK MY LIFE.

Here's the only way I can figure out how to save myself...

I don't log on or post after next Exile, and I'll say I got blocked from doing anything in the Burg... Meanwhile... We have to get rid of Ellis and Jenya pretty much ASAP.


I might have just fucked myself out of this game and I feel extremely stupid right now... How the hell did I manage this!?!?!? Anyway, I'm going to try to keep my mouth shut about all of you guys because I don't want to give anymore evidence for Cits to look at should I go.


If anyone has some ideas on how I can get myself out of this one I'll love you forever...



Here's the one thing I don't know that might help us... she said 2 people each at the next three Imprisonments . If it's not including Exiles then she'll never know whether I deflected her shit or not. And here's the better part... she protected two this round for Imprisonment so if it alternates I only have to survive one exile (which can be the episode I was blocked from the Burg) and she really won't be able to do anything about it. I'll just say "Oh yeah, sure, I'll deflect these people" the next round and we can just not Imprison either one and nobody will be the wiser.


I might be able to survive this... I tried to remain cool and calm about it and I think I did so in IM conversations, but externally I'm flipping out over here...

I HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTION!!!

I should have said my Power Up Ability was that now my switches are Reciprocal... So any action on Billy the Bastard would go to Shannon the Slut, but that ALSO any actions done to Shannon the Slut would go to Billy the Bastard.

I can't believe I didn't think about this for days when it was announced that if we won the challenge we'd get powerups...

Why did I even tell Jenya? I could have waited few more rounds like I originally planned... Her powerup would be long gone ad I could say whatever I want as my powerup because it'd have been long gone, too. I suck. I should be castrated by Yvette.

P.S. As a side note, DC, do you appreciate my "SHIT SHIT SHIT" homage? ; D I'm hoping it will channel the Spies 3 Spy Team's winning record into my spirit...


Anyway, I have a plan to get out of this despite my enormous stupidity and lack of insight and planning ahead. Here's how it goes:



For Imprisonments I have NOTHING to prove. I can say "Yeah sure I'll deflect these motherfuckers for you." and it won't matter. I can tell her I'm deflecting role abilities onto making Barack Obama immune from Imprisonment and she can't dispute shit.
But for Exiles... I'm more screwed than Frankenstein's head. I'm more fucked than Jenna Jameson. I'm in more shit than a plumber. I'm more raped than ... Well, perhaps the analogies should stop there...

Anyway, for Exiles I have to prove myself.

..............Or DO I?

It just so happens that Donald has a role that can block me from the Burg for an entire episode. Like the Blink 182 CD says, that makes me want to take off my pants and jacket.
Obviously this will be very coincidental, but how the hell can poor Citizen Jason help it if he happened to get blocked from the Burg like that?? I'm just an innocent bystander in a deadly game.
Help me Donald Kenobi, you're my only hope.

I thought about plenty of other ideas, here's a list of them:


"Oh, by the way, Jenya, I meant to say that my role powerup is double deflections AFTER your three double protections are up. I guess Sam wants to split them up. DEE DEE DEE."
Fail.

"Oh, it turns out that unlike I previously thought I can't actually target people more than once or target myself and it just so happens that in round one I was able to deflect 10 people, so... Unfortunately I can't deflect anyone anymore."
Fail.

"Hi, this is the real Jason... Earlier today my brother, who has Downs Syndrome, was on my computer playing with AIM. He might have said some silly things, but rest assured nothing he said is valid."
Fail.

"Ugh... I feel so woosey. 'Why?' you ask? Well, let me tell you why! This morning I was sitting down at my computer desk and a dresser fell on top of me and landed on my head. I've been having hallucinations ever since and I just wanted to let you know that I misread my role powerup..."
Fail. (Sadly the dresser falling on my head story is not made up.........)

"When I talked to you earlier today I was actually under the control of a Spy. One of the Spies has the ability to Mind Control one person per episode for one hour and it happened to be me this time. It's weird because after we talked they had me take naked pictures of myself and post them to Collegehumor.com"
Fail.

"Oh hi, Jenya.... I toooootally forgot that I could deflect TWO people this round. It was an honest mistake and it has nothing to do with the fact that only a Cit could receive Powerups and that this would have proved that I received a role power up."
Fail.

"OMG MY NET WAS DOWN AND I COULDN'T MAKE MY ROLE ABILITY CHOICES IN TIME!111 WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU??11?>?1>1.?"
Actually this might work...

Could that work? I wonder... I mean all I have to do is not sign on, not check the boards, and... Wait... I CAN GO OUT OF TOWN next week!! That would be perfect! Not an announced out of town, either, I'll post it Monday night at about 4AM to the "I'm Away" thread in the Burg and PM Jenya a message saying "Oh, I need to know who you're Protecting this round by 7AM or I'll have to deflect two random people to two other random people because I'm going out of town with friends for a few days on a spur of the moment road trip and I don't have time to get things together. Let me know! Hope you're online between the hours of 4AM and 7AM because I know most people are!!"

I love myself. That will totally work! Of course she'll ask why I didn't PM my deflection choices to her but I'll say it was late/early and I was in a hurry and didn't think about it.








Okay I feel a lot better now, I think I'll be okay afterall. It's still not as perfect or sexy as it was before but I can and WILL survive this, and I shall please my Master Mofo (not in the dirty way... Pervs!).



That's all for now.

[Jason]

Or Donald could Jail Jenya next episode and she'd be tough out of luck.

THAT'S RIGHT BITCH, GET THE FUCK OUT MY MOTHER FUCKIN' BURG YO'!

[Jason]

Why am I Confessionalizing at 3:30 AM?
Eh, no matter. Anyway, I have things to think about...

I have an idea for potentially uncovering all Citizen roles... I simply IM people this weekend and say:

"Hi, I won the role investigation... I'd love to hear what your role is now that I know you've got it... You've got 30 seconds to give me a fast summary or I'll assume you're a Spy that doesn't have time to make up a Citizen-sounding role and I'll post this conversation to the Burg immediately and you'll be exiled."

Obviously if I sent that to everyone someone would mention it to someone else and before long everyone would be aware that I'd done it to everyone. If I did it fast enough (My plan would be to ask people the night of the Exile - right before that way the maximum number of people would be online) I could get a large number of genuine answers before anyone caught on...

The benefit could be HUGE for the team - I might uncover a role or two and we could get rid of them as we please.
But... the risk for myself would also be HUGE. It's a huge Scumtell to try to find out every Citizen role. Just as Citizen Bruce from Spies 3 what he thought about people that did that.................................
On a side note Ed is Spies3Arthur.
Anyway, I decided not to do it... And then...

spies6Jenya (1:03:34 AM): Actually, I have a really neat idea.
Spies 6 Jason (1:03:41 AM): "Hi, I role investigated you and you have a role. You have 30 seconds to tell me what it is"
spies6Jenya (1:03:45 AM): You should tell EVERYONE that you got a result on them of Yes.
Spies 6 Jason (1:03:51 AM): I thought about that too!!
spies6Jenya (1:03:55 AM): You win.

Hey look, Jenya had the same idea! Is she really NOT a spy?!? Seriously!?!?

Spies 6 Jason (1:03:56 AM): But there'sa a problem with it -_-
Spies 6 Jason (1:04:14 AM): That sounds REALLY scummy, as if I'm trying to fish out all the roles in one swoop
spies6Jenya (1:04:34 AM): Yes, but soon I will have your back and 100% confirm you, right?

As you can see, I expressed my issue with doing so... and she had an answer waiting for me. Pushy bitch.

Spies 6 Jason (1:05:12 AM): Yeah, but what if they think we're both Spies? you can't prove your Imprisonment Immunities, for all they know you only Immune at Exiles which could be as much Spy as Cit
Spies 6 Jason (1:05:27 AM): If it backfires and we both got taken out... that would be so horrible
spies6Jenya (1:05:45 AM): Not a chance, they can only get one of us
spies6Jenya (1:05:50 AM): We've confirmed each other
spies6Jenya (1:05:57 AM): Exile one of us at absolute worsty
Spies 6 Jason (1:06:07 AM): Lol that would be me

Well, I pretty much said that it's not worth getting myself exiled over... I TRIED to tie her into it but she made the valid point that when they got rid of one of us they'd realize the other is clean. On second thought I should have countered by saying that'd be an open invitation to the Spies' next Imprisonment party.

Spies 6 Jason (1:06:26 AM): I'm still thinking about it... But I don't wanna cost myself the fun of finding the other 5 Spies
spies6Jenya (1:06:36 AM): No way do you get in trouble for it.
spies6Jenya (1:06:44 AM): I think everyone would agree it's the pro-cit play.

Trying to find out EVERY citizen role at once is the Citizen play?? Wow...
A Spy would LOVE to know every role. Obviously you don't imprison them right away because that'd be obvious, but knowing the roles and who is using them for what it would be very easy to control, manage, and eliminate role abilities as needed. It's worked out with Protector Jenya so far.

Spies 6 Jason (1:07:14 AM): The Spies won't... Actually maybe we could use reactions to figure out who nthe Spies are
Spies 6 Jason (1:07:27 AM): The ones who isntantly jump on me for it might be Spies
spies6Jenya (1:07:49 AM):
Spies 6 Jason (1:08:03 AM): It's risky... but it might be just what we need
spies6Jenya (1:08:23 AM): Let's think it all the way through

This is of course total bullshit. I'm setting it up so that if I DO actually follow through with this plan I can make sure my fellow Spies DON'T talk issue with it and then we'll have a few easy misexiles with the poor Citizens that DO.

spies6Jenya (1:40:31 AM): I would looooove it if you played a bunch of people about the role investigation.
spies6Jenya (1:40:48 AM): The only problem with it is once you do, they'd know you won it.
spies6Jenya (1:41:00 AM): Maybe we could pretend someone else won it.
Spies 6 Jason (1:41:24 AM): Yeah... I could say I was just exploiting the mystery of the role to see if I could catch any Spies
Spies 6 Jason (1:41:43 AM): But I still think it'll come off as a Spy scumhunting than a good Citizen trying to be helpful
spies6Jenya (1:42:09 AM): Maybe pick 3 or 4 people to play.
spies6Jenya (1:42:15 AM): Then it's not as widespread.
spies6Jenya (1:42:34 AM): Tell them afterwards that they can't tell a soul.
Spies 6 Jason (1:42:52 AM): That would be really risky -_- It might work though... I don't know, I'd be afraid
spies6Jenya (1:43:27 AM): If you get a role result
spies6Jenya (1:43:31 AM): Would you tell that one person?
Spies 6 Jason (1:43:41 AM): No... I'd ask them first
Spies 6 Jason (1:43:54 AM): And if they say no, like you said... they might be a Spy

So anyway, Jenya REALLY wants me to do this... What I'm thinking about... Is somethnig from a PM I received from Ellis...

OK here's who I'm sending this to: Rey, Tiberius, Ariel, Kirsten, Jason.

At the moment I trust you guys are citizens the most. (Please note Jenya is not on that list.) I also trust you to keep this under wraps.

What's that...? Ellis wants us to PLEASE NOTE that Jenya is NOT on the list of Citizens he trusts most??!?!?!?! Hmmmmm.....

And then... what Jenya said to me...

spies6Jenya (1:06:06 PM): So I'll just tell Ellis that if I die, I'm pretty sure you're a spy, and if not, we'll confirm you Friday

Is it possible that I could use that conversation with Jenya to frame her?! Obviously I'd have to be VERY careful with it, and let someone ELSE make the case... I think I could count on Ellis to see Jenya's eager pushiness towards me finding out other roles...
Perhaps I could just share the convo with him to show him the discussion leading up to my choice for the role investigation?

If I could get Jenya exiled she'd be out of my hair AND Ellis would look horrible for leading the vote on a confirmed Citizen role holder (And there'd certainly be proof that he knew she was one).

Anyway, it's fun to think about, as opposed to... Sleeping. Actually I should probably go do that now.


Note to Jason from Mofo: You should post the Jenya conversation in the SPY HQ so that you can discuss if Jenya could be framed with it.

[Jason]

I just realized something...

I was voted a reward from the entire Burg. I'm essentially the most trusted Citizen in the Burg.
I'm a Spy.

I used the role investigation on someone, believing their behavior suggested they had a role.
I was right.


I should've started spying long ago...


AND IF I HADN'T MADE THAT ONE MISTAKE $#^#$^@#$^@#^

I'd almost have a perfect game rolling here...

And what's even better is that thanks to my Yvette push people have completely forgotten about Donald and Amelia, who were on the chopping block. Now it's Rey and Mirela it seems.

Can life get any better?
Well, Jenya could bump her head and get amnesia and forget I have a role or that it's doubled. THEN life would be better.

[Jenya]

Three events in the game made Jason look really Citizenish to me:

1) He led the charge on Almathea in Episode 1
2) He voluntarily came to me with his role
3) He didn't kill Khaled when he won the role investigation and instead told me about Khaled's role
4) He GUESSED the Citizen powerup from the Future Challenge EXACTLY

I would say that (1) made Jason look 60% Citizen in my eyes. He looked a little too sure about Almathea, so I still had my eye on him.

(2) made Jason look pretty Cit too, maybe up to 80%. After he claimed to me, I was watching him carefully for any sign of slipping about his role. He failed to use it once. Other than that, he pretty much played it and talked about it like a Cit.

(3) made Jason look 95% Cit. I really thought a Spy would have lied about winning the investigation OR lied about who he investigated and offed Khaled. Jason played that role investigation brilliantly.

(4) was the icing on the cake, and took Jason to 99% Citizen in my eyes. Before anyone had told him anything about the Citizen powerup, I popped the question on him. He answered "I got my power doubled the next FOUR episodes." I was a little suspicious that his answer differed from my THREE powerups, but later, when Khaled said his power was doubled FOUR times, I was pretty much sold on Jason.

He could have guessed 1, 2, 3 or 4 doubled role uses, or not even nailed the doubling. But he nailed it, and while I was still hazing him from time to time from that point on, he was a secondary target from that lucky guess until the endgame.

Did I say lucky guess? I meant "fucking lucky guess".

But seriously, I don't know how anyone in possession of (1)-(4) above would have thought any differently about Jason. I was screwed. I even said in my confessional later in the game that I wanted to be imprisoned because I didn't think I was nearly neutral enough on Jason, while others who hadn't experienced what I had with Jason still had a healthy suspicion of him.

[Jason]

Yeah honestly Jenya you played a great game... I don't see how anyone can blame you for the events that transpired :/

I got lucky as a fucking ducky with that claim, but hey, it worked!!