Post by Judge Sam on Jul 18, 2009 21:46:37 GMT -5
"Stick"ing it to the Burg
By Kirsten
By Kirsten
Chapter 6: Queens' Gambit
It was a beautiful day outside, and the Queens could think of no better way to spend it than leisurely relaxing in a nearby field.
"Don't forget to wear your crown!" said Ariel. "We need to show the burg our style!"
"Ugh, I don't have any style," Kirsten groaned. "I still can't believe you didn't buy me a crown when you went shopping for matching headwear. I would have paid you back."
"Can you please stop whining about that," said Mirela, with a look of annoyance. "It was a mistake. Get over it."
"But the only crown I could get on a short notice came with a value meal," whined Kirsten.
"Enough!" Jenya commanded. "Let's grab our weapons and have a day of fun in the field."
With that, the Queens casually selected their brutal weapons of slaughter from the weapon rack and traipsed out to the field. Kirsten was armed with her icicle-laden scepter, a gift from the Winter Queen, Ariel. Ariel had her staff. It wasn't menacing to look at, but it had crushed many heads in it's day. Jenya, on the other hand, was armed with a giant and very menacing axe. Mirela only had a spiked mace. Really, it was nothing.
But they would soon forget all about their plans. They had only just reached the field when they were greeted by trouble that was out of this world...
"What the hell is that!" shrieked Mirela.
"I am Georgia," the creature responded. "I am an alien with many tentacles."
"Freaky," said Ariel. "Why the broom?"
"I am also a witch. I have a very nice witch hat, too," she responded.
"Bizarre." Said Jenya. "But the hat is very nice."
"I'm having a hard time believing all this," said Kirsten, incredulously.
"Believe, it." Said Georgia, in a matter of fact tone. "I also have Paul Bunyan's axe."
"I'm sorry, no. That's where I have to draw the line. You're just shitting me at this point," Kirsten responded.
"Nope, I'm serious. I was his neighbor and I borrowed his axe," she said.
"No fucking way," Mirela said. "You're just making stuff up as you go, aren't you?"
"What a joke," Kirsten added.
"You accuse me of lying!" The monster hissed. "You will all pay for this!"
"Bring it!" Encouraged Ariel. "It's been a while since I've had the satisfaction of crushing someone with my staff."
"And my Axe!" Jenya shouted.
"Uh, Jenya, you were supposed to wait until I said 'You have my Mace' first'," Mirela piped in.
"Whatever," she responded flippantly. "Let's just kill this thing."
And with that, the 4 queens brandished their weapons and began to attack the Georgia monster. However, the monster's endless supply of tentacles and crushing blows with Paul Bunyan's axe proved too much for the group of adventurers. They found themselves crushed, subdued, and soon to be dead. The situation appeared hopeless...
Georgia had just finished "sweeping" Mirela off her feet with a nice smack from the broom, and was about to chop off Kirsten's head with Paul Bunyan's axe. Meanwhile, Georgia had acquired Mirela's mace and was about to leave a nasty impression in Ariel's skull.
Jenya could only look on in horror. This was not quite the day they had planned out.
Suddenly, Kirsten had a burst of inspiration!
"WAIT!" She commanded. Georgia stopped midswing, in shock.
"I need to tell you something. Ed told me that he was going to be imprisoned and I leaked the information to Jenya. She then leaked the information to Rey."
"Are you serious?" Georgia responded. "What failure."
"Not only that, but I told 4 people my role in episode 3, and then added a couple more to that tally later on," Jenya added, quickly catching on.
"Oh, and Rey leaked Jenya's role to 2 people. Ellis leaked it to me." Kirsten suggested.
Georgia laughed histerically at the amount of role-based failure.
Mirela wasn't quite sure what was going on, but she needed to join in. "And Tiberius leaked William's role to the entire burg by posting a chat with Ariel!"
"ROFL" Georgia shrieked. "You all fail so much. I can't believe people trusted you with that information."
"If I had a role, I Would have probably posted it publicly episode 1," Kirsten tossed in, as a last ditch effort.
"ROFL" The monster laughed again. Ariel glanced at Kirsten and Jenya questioningly, but her questions were halted when in a strange twist of fate Georgia fell to the ground clutching her throat. The trap had worked! The monster was unable to stop laughing so hard at the amount of failure involved, and laughter was the only weakness she possessed.
The queens survived the encounter. Georgia had died laughing.
They relaxed, thinking their trouble was over, but something ominous still lurked in the shadows. Someone had been watching them...
To be continued